A feedback system to God. A comment box per say. A way for him to improve his system and design, so that he could change himself.

I never really followed the political elections like I do now:

One reason and one reason only,

Ron Paul.

I think he's definitily worth a shot. He seems like a smart man who THINKS.

When I watch the debates, all the speeches are planned from the other candidates. Even the debates are planned. I feel like I am watching puppets.

I dont know much about politics, but I do know enough to say that Ron Paul should get at least 4 years in office. Bring back the REAL America.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Thirteen. The daughter said something like "If everybody married someone from a different race then in one generation there would be no prejudice."

I like to dream of a world where people do not carry hate on their shoulders as a representation of their culture. I like to dream of a world where people care for others no matter their religion, their race, their education. I like to dream of a world where Jesus, Mohamed, and Buddha can coexist. Where there is peace. Where we are all equal in status, land, and happiness.

My mother calls me, "some sort of idealist." I cannot help but think about how the world could be beautiful.

However, when I reply to her, I say, in arrogance, for all those who have experienced death, misfortune, and war, to simply get over it. To seek out help that does not involve hatred towards those who are to blame. I simply say that maybe the other side should not have started it. Arrogance, a cover up for the pain and sorrow I feel for all the people in the world. And I look like a fool, when I mean to say that hatred is not the answer. Forgive and forget.

My father tells me that people are unable to understand or relate to those who have never witnessed or experienced these tragic events up close. But I feel like I can. All I have to do is close my eyes and I am there. I am there, on the front lines, in between the cross fire.
Like some sort of out of body experience, I feel like I am all around the world at once. I feel divided amongst the nations, tiny bits of me, scattered.
 I tell him, that none the less,  I am part of the human race and I understand.

Although I may not know. I understand. I feel pain. I feel sorrow. I feel death. Sometimes it's overwhelming.

So I turn to dreams. A world of peace and calm.

What is a person to do?

What am I interested in doing?

I am interested in going to Pakistan and ending those Honor killings. Establishing equal rights for women.

Or at least travel there to learn more about this issue.

Existential crisis.

Sounds about right.

The ability to lie, cheat and steal is a sign of intelligence. However true that may be, it is also a sign of instability.

Mental illness plagues the human race. You see, the problem is, our brains are too big. Our intelligence is our downfall, it's almost a curse.

Our intelligence is a trick. It acts as an illusions to lead us to believe that we are not animals. Yet we need to poop, eat, give birth, have sex, pee and sleep like all the rest of these organisms.
And how much time is spent on these animal behaviors.

Trickery. Our intelligence leads us to ignore these behaviors and focus on all the lying and cheating and stealing that must be done to seperate us from all of the other species in this animalea category.

Trickery.


I am fooled. and I feel like a fool. The trees are smart.

Truth is our savior. And not in the religious way. Truth will bring us down in glass elevators back the soil.

These thoughts sound too familiar. The truth. The truth brought about by my intelligence. A curse.

If only I could stop thinking so much and be one with the animals and the mountains and the trees and the plants. If only I could stop thinking so much and worrying so much about whats going to happen to me, I could live in my dream hut a comfortable peaceful life tilling the earth.

I would eat the food I grow. I would poop, give birth, pee and sleep. And forget about the meaning to life. Just forget it.

If only it was ythat simple to forget. I grew up in a family of scientists, analysists, inventors and geniuses. All that is simple, is more complex.


If only it was simple to forget to think.
Now that would solve the worlds problems.
Or rather it would not start them

Maybe it would only solve my problems. 

So, last night I went to the Ultimate Sunshine Tour in DC. Two of my favorite bands preformed Cake and the Brazillian Girls.

During the concert I felt a change from within. The Brazillian Girls were singing their song, "It's not about us" and it hit me. It really isn't about US or ME.

I was thinking about this in the context of a study abroad trip I am in charge of puting together. I have been thinking about where we can go that would be interesting for the students, yet, something feels wrong.

It feels wrong to go to Africa and impose our services for our entertainment. I realized it's not about US it's about THEM. The people that we are supposed to be helping. And what difference does it make who we are helping if we truley want to help others? Maybe we should just go pick up trash in the community. At least start there. And then build up to going to a foreign land.

It's a weird thought. And all of my thoughts have been bouncing off the walls. I can't seem to grasp a point to life. To the government. Or even to money. It makes no sense to me.

Money is paper. Yet why are we competing for it? What is the point? Why are we in a competition against one another? For resources?

Well I think it's sort of weird that 1% of the world has complete control of these resources while the other remaining percent are grappling for what they can get their hands on. Why can't that 1% just share?

And don't tell me that, that is communist, because it's not. Because honestly, I would like an explanation as to what we are competing for? It's not like we're going anywhere. We're not going to space or the moon. The world is not ending anytime soon. I don't see any drastic changes. So what's the point of this competition? And why did my teachers enforce it when I was a child?

It's a harsh reality I suppose. But I believe it doesn't have to be. It just doesn't have to be this way. We are taught that things are this way. We are born into a culture of competition. And it can get pretty ugly.

I think this attitude can change.